How to Handle Sexy Women As You Go About Your Day

Photo: Antonio Guillem/Getty Images/iStockphoto

Photo: Antonio Guillem/Getty Images/iStockphoto

If you’re anything like me (or any sexual man) you are seduced by attractive women as you go about your day. Whether it’s at work, on the tube or at a coffee shop.

Tight pants. Beautiful hair. The allure of their glance. On a deeper level it’s the siren of the seductress. The dance of the feminine. You’re the moth and she’s the light.

On the surface it seems like a normal day-to-day thing, but if you look closer you’ll see that it’s a really distracting issue - it throws a wrench in your day. It can mess with you and throw you off your task at hand.

The solution? Most men typically handle it one of two ways. And I want to tell you about a better third way.

Way 1: Looking and WANTING

If you pay close attention, when you’re turned on by an attractive woman there’s often a deep (and unconscious) level of WANTING something from her.

Ari - constantly distracted by beautiful women.

Ari - constantly distracted by beautiful women.

You want her to return your glance. Or her attention. Her number. Her sex.

Even for a married man there is often an underlying yearning behind it all. If a hot woman walks by that absolutely kills you, at a deeper level it’s a pity that there’s not more. It tortures you on a deeper level. Like it’s an absolute shame that that a look is all you get.

(Just being honest here).

And when you do check her out, with your look comes a certain wanting - even if you know you’d never act on it. The million year old instinct beneath the surface just aching to initiate the mating dance.

Again, often unconscious.

Way 2: You Ignore Her & Shut Her Out

This is you where you’re working on your computer at a coffee shop and you pretend she doesn’t exist. You carve that deliciousness out of your awareness and shut it out. You repress your sexuality and your sexual reaction to it.

You keep your eyes on the road and on the task at hand.

And this is the strategy for most men who are married or in a serious relationship.


But Both of These Ways Have Their Faults….

In the first approach, the problem is that the sexual tension pulls off track. You feel the tension. It distracts you. You “give in” and check her out. You create tension. On some level you torture yourself with desire.

In the second approach, the problem is that you cut yourself off from your sexuality. You repress all the juiciness and inspiration and ENJOYMENT that the feminine brings to the table (you know, all that good stuff that makes life worth living for the masculine).

Here is shakti - feminine energy itself - dancing before you, and you block it out.

From HER perspective you deprive her of the enjoyment of being SEEN and appreciated and desired. On a certain level the feminine spends hours getting ready and enhancing her shine, and you deprive her of being seen and admired.


A Better Way: Appreciate Fully & Give Her Absolute Freedom

This is a like a level 10 yoga pose that took me a long time to discover. The pose is this:

(1) FULLY enjoy / receive / take in the delicious sexiness and allure and attraction of the feminine dance as it appears before you.

… And at the same time:

 (2) Let her be 100% free to act as she damn pleases.

— She completely shuns you and feels repulsed by you? Great.
— She comes sits on your lap and starts biting your ear? No problem.
— She doesn’t even know you exist? Perfect.

You come from a place of zero wanting - instead give her full permission to act and feel (or not feel) however the hell she pleases.

Why Does This Work?

Because women are extraordinarily perceptive and they FEEL it when you want something from them. It makes them put their guard up.

Similarly, they can feel it when you don’t want anything from them at all. It creates an amazing space of freedom, where they can finally BREATHE.

Try this attitude out this week and you will quickly see that this combination of FULL APPRECIATION (heart open, in touch with your desire and excitement) coupled with ZERO NEEDING OR WANTING makes the feminine feel seen, while simultaneously feeling AT EASE.

(Which makes you as the masculine a million times more attractive by the way).

This is a spiritual practice. The feminine loves to be fully seen and appreciated. It enhances their shine. It brings a gift into their day. They also love being in the presence of the masculine when he is unflappable.

As a committed man it breathes raw inspiration into your day, which you can direct into your work and your woman.

So, if you’re someone like me who constantly struggles with the polarity of attractive women all day it’s a powerful practice and a sweet relief.

Give it a try.